‘Where did we get the crazy idea that to make people do better, we first have to make them feel worse’ Nelsen, Lott, Glenn (Positive discipline in the classroom)
As humans, we are like lumps of fuel, that rub up against each other causing friction, and creating sparks. Then the smouldering begins. Resentments fester, and sometimes we find people to take our side, fanning the flames of the fire, and at times the fire escalates. People can stoke the fire with their prejudices, anger, and discontent. Before we know it we have created a bush fire. Everyone involved in the conflict is harmed. Nobody escapes the fire. In the fire is the gem, we need to have the courage to step into the fire and do something about it. Calm the flames. Of course there are gems in every stage of the fire. At every stage there is an opportunity to problem solve or change. But even if the blaze is raging we can still pick ourselves out of the ashes and move on.
Hi my name is Dr Valerie Mason-John but I prefer to be called Queenie while working in the work place or at school. I want to first say that conflict is inevitable. Do not be ashamed of it happening in your School or Work Environment. Conflict is an opportunity to do something different, an opportunity to be creative.
All to often we look on at the fire, feel fear, or collude, or tell our selves it will die down if we ignore it. And often it doesn’t, sleeping dogs don’t just lie, they chew at the slipper, growl with smoke coming out of their ears. The fire smoulders until we do something about it. This is where I can come in with the gentle water to help calm the flames. Conflict can be tiny, get help before it flares into something bigger.